My Ranking of Bond Films to Date

From Russia With Love Stuns Goldfinger,
Octopussy Miffed

Being a Bond fan most of my life, I have watched most of the canonical Bond films at least twice (Die Another Day is the only film holding this dishonour) and most of the films more times than I can remember to count. Therefore, I have the right, nee the responsibility, to release my definitive ranking of James Bond 007 films to date. Please, please, no thanks are needed and while I encourage other aficionados to publish rankings of their own, I could care less if you think me the world's greatest prat because I like The Living Daylights more than Thunderball. So keep the flames where they belong, down on Stark Stret, but fee free to ask if you really are curious why I feel the way I do.

Note: My rankings are as of today and possibly subject to change upon continued reviewing of source material. IMDb Rankings are as of 17 September 2008 and will change and may be quite different than what you see when you visit their webpage three years hence. Inclusion here is not meant to indicate approval or any other such nonsense and all that legal-like drivel that websites are keen to throw at users.

My Rank	Title	Year	Actor	Director	Own	My Rating	IMDb Rating	IMDb Rank
1	From Russia with Love	1963	Sean Connery	Terence Young	VHS	9	7.5	3
2	Goldfinger	1964	Sean Connery	Guy Hamilton	both	9	7.9	2
3	Tomorrow Never Dies	1997	Pierce Brosnan	Roger Spottiswoode	DVD	9	6.4	17
4	Casino Royale	2006	Daniel Craig	Martin Campbell	DVD	8	8	1
5	Dr. No	1962	Sean Connery	Terence Young	DVD	8	7.3	4
6	On Her Majesty's Secret Service	1969	George Lazenby	Peter R. Hunt		8	6.9	9
7	Living Daylights, The	1987	Timothy Dalton	John Glen	VHS	8	6.6	14
8	Licence to Kill	1989	Timothy Dalton	John Glen		8	6.5	16
9	World Is Not Enough, The	1999	Pierce Brosnan	Michael Apted	VHS	8	6.3	18
10	You Only Live Twice	1967	Sean Connery	Lewis Gilbert	VHS	7	7	8
11	Spy Who Loved Me, The	1977	Roger Moore	Lewis Gilbert	DVD	7	7.1	5
12	For Your Eyes Only	1981	Roger Moore	John Glen	VHS	7	6.8	11
13	Diamonds Are Forever	1971	Sean Connery	Guy Hamilton	VHS	7	6.7	12
14	Live and Let Die	1973	Roger Moore	Guy Hamilton		7	6.8	10
15	Man with the Golden Gun, The	1974	Roger Moore	Guy Hamilton	DVD	7	6.6	13
16	GoldenEye	1995	Pierce Brosnan	Martin Campbell	DVD	7	7.1	6
17	Thunderball	1965	Sean Connery	Terence Young	VHS	7	7	7
18	Octopussy	1983	Roger Moore	John Glen	VHS	6	6.5	15
19	View to a Kill, A	1985	Roger Moore	John Glen	VHS	6	6.1	20
20	Moonraker	1979	Roger Moore	Lewis Gilbert	VHS	6	6.1	19
21	Die Another Day	2002	Pierce Brosnan	Lee Tamahori		6	6.1	21
	Quantum of Solace	2008	Daniel Craig	Marc Forster
	Bond 23	2010	Daniel Craig	Marc Forster

Most consider movies listed above as James Bond 007 Canonical Works. For the sake of inclusion, here are two non-canonical works, both which I have only bothered to watch a single time.

My Rank	Title	Year	Actor	Director	Own	My Rating	IMDb Rating	IMDb Rank
22	Never Say Never Again	1983	Sean Connery			5	6	22
23	Casino Royale	1967	David Niven			5	5.1	23

And yes, I know there is yet another version, usually considered non-canonical from what I can tell, but I've yet to see the 1954 Climax! (or Climax Mystery Theater in the US) version of Casino Royale. Alas, my local library does not yet have a copy and I believe I want to see it before I dole out my $20.

Dr Who's Big Bi Bye Kiss

I'm sure this entirely foreign to straight people, but there are a series of on-screen kisses that carry a great deal of meaning for LGBTQI people. Clearly one of the most famous was the much discussed Ellen kiss of 1997. Even though this wasn't the actual first lesbian kiss on American TV, it got lots and lots of publicity -- and of course it ranged from psychotic to ecstatic.

However good that one felt, it still didn't mean as much to me. And to be honest, no kiss has meant anything to me because I've yet to see two men kiss on TV outside of cable shows like Queer as Folk. I have heard rumors that Will kissed on Will & Grace, but this was not a show that resonated with me. I mean really, all every gay man needs in his life is a straight woman to be happy -- like I haven't heard that one before! I only watched the show a handful of times. Who knows, I may have missed a lot of other gay kisses since I stopped watching ad-based television.

Actually, it's interesting to look over the list of LGBTQ characters on Wikipedia. It seems like not that long ago, during the days of Dynasty, when we wondered if we would ever see people like us on TV. I can remember the tears of consternation when the gay character morphed into some "Bi
because America isn't ready for Gay yet" guy who only seemed to be with women.

But clearly the most important kiss is the one that speaks to me. Not only is it between two men, but it's pretty meaningless if it's on a show I don't watch, right? Well, today I was blown away by the most wonderful MAN-2-MAN LIP-2-LIP kiss on a show that I've been watching for almost 30 years! Can you believe it?!?



So, you might be wondering why this kiss was so meaningful to me. First and foremost, I've been watching Dr Who since the mid or late 70's. I've never really thought of myself as much of a SciFi buff, but I can remember back in El Paso in the mid 80s I'd never miss a show. Of course it's been quite a long time since I've seen it, so when they restarted it a couple of months ago on OPB, I was somewhat skeptical. Could it be as good as the old series was? Would it live up to my memories? Have I changed so much that I will no longer like the cheesy low-tech special effects?

As you might guess, I still love the show and since the advent of CGI, the special effects have progressed wonderfully. So while I've never been interested in the American scifi shows like StarTrek: The Anal Invasion or Battlestar Ballactica, I love Dr. Who. Who knows, maybe it's because it's British. Maybe it's because I'm weird. Maybe it's because it's one of the very few things I used to enjoy doing with my father -- he's actually the one who started watching the programme and I'd watch it too. Though I don't know that we ever did it together...

Anyway, I was pretty amazed when they introduced this new character Captain Jack Harkness a few episodes back because he'd make comments much like I do. Instead of saying something like "why don't we ever have a romantic, candle lit dinner?" to be dismissed by the female character only to have Jack reply, "I was asking him (the Doctor)."

And so I was sitting there thinking, "did they really just make a homoerotic reference? Nah, this is Dr Who!" But then it kept on happening. But still, until today, I thought it was just me.

Then when they were getting to the big, emotional farewell, right before the three main characters go off to almost certain death during war with the perrenial alien enemies, the Daleks, Jake says goodbye to Rose (female sidekick) and kisses her on the lips. I'm thinking to myself, "hey wouldn't it be neat if..." and before I know what's hit me BOOM, Jack's grabbed the Doctor below the ears and plants one firmly on the lips! ON THE LIPS!

Okay, okay. I see the problems with this. First and foremost, he's Bi. That's okay. I've dated Bi guys. I used to say I was Bi when I was confused. Sometimes I still wonder (well, not really, but I did as late as the mid 90s). Second, we don't actually see their lips touch and there certainly is no tongue (thank you very much), but no one complains when the big star throws a right hook and the other guy's nose doesn't errupt in blood. It's all make believe anyway! Third, and probably last, yes, this actually happened in the UK in 2005 and it was broadcast in Oregon a week ago, but I only got to the tape today.

Oh, and it does get one better. Captain Jack is played by the BiNational Gay actor John Barrowman (UK/US). He was born in Glasgow, Scotland and recently were partnered on Britian's Civil Register. It was a small ceremony that they don't refer to as a "marriage." Wow! That's all right. Finally a gay 'star' I can relate to! (Though I try hard to not care about 'fan culture' or 'entertainment news.')

So, even though the Doctor actually died, and I for one really liked Doctor Nine Christopher Eccleston, and that really made me sad, it was a fabulous show! Thank you BBC for doing what is right and thanks to OPB for not being fearful of rightwing backlash and running this show at 2am or with some crazy "some people with really narrow minds might bust a gasket if they watch this" warning message. We are part of society and we deserve the same treatment as everybody else. We love, we kiss, we say good-bye pretty much like you do.

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