Cracker Day (fka Independence Day)
As I look around me, it is clear that Independence Day is no longer 4 July for the majority of Hillsboro's residents. No clearly, Independence Day is 16 September and even 5 May seem to be more important holidays than the 4th. But by some strange historical aberration, Oregonians aren't allowed to purchase fireworks to celebrate those holidays.
It is also quite clear that the only special interest group that benefits significantly from the holiday are the retailers of firecrackers, both legal, illegal, and notorious. Yes, this one day accounts for the vast majority of sales of such small explosive devices as Valentines accounts supports the florist and candy industries, and Christmas keeps retailers afloat for the next 9 months.
So it's time to forgo the other ancient traditions of celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence with parades, picnics, and baseball games much like celebrating the Winter Solstice or birth of the Christian Messiah in December or springtime fertility rights that gave rise to Easter have fallen from favor. After all, we completely ignore John Adams call to that the day "be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."
How can people be expected to make patriotic displays when they feel as much if not more loyalty to another nation and view this one as a place to go to find work? Granted, it's not easy for them and they have little other choice, but if they aren't interested in our culture, why would they be interested in our most important political holiday?
Because it's only one of two times a year when they can legally buy and shoot off a small range of firecrackers. But clearly the large number of legal explosions provides perfect cover for the larger, more dangerous, and clearly more lucrative illicit firecracker trade. The police are too busy looking for drunks on the road to chase down even the loudest explosions.
Since it seems the ancient meaning of the day is morphing, maybe we can remember the dying majority that made this country what it is today with a new holiday -- Cracker Day!
As their sacred cows fall one by one: racial purity, publicly mandated Protestant observance, dispute resolution by violence, the sexual exploitation of children, senseless abuse of any weaker creature, and soon marriage for one man and one woman at one time, it looks like they will soon be memory moving to legend and eventually myth. What better symbol to remember all they stand for than the firecracker?
People can continue to march and gather for picnics and fondly remember the good ole days as they purchase firecrackers. The following generations will right the myths they will tell their grandchildren about the people that made this country for them. It's time someone did something to remember all those who made do with so little so that others could have so much that they don't know what to do with it.
Join the cry "Crackers for Crackers" and blow things up. What better way to remember?
It is also quite clear that the only special interest group that benefits significantly from the holiday are the retailers of firecrackers, both legal, illegal, and notorious. Yes, this one day accounts for the vast majority of sales of such small explosive devices as Valentines accounts supports the florist and candy industries, and Christmas keeps retailers afloat for the next 9 months.
So it's time to forgo the other ancient traditions of celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence with parades, picnics, and baseball games much like celebrating the Winter Solstice or birth of the Christian Messiah in December or springtime fertility rights that gave rise to Easter have fallen from favor. After all, we completely ignore John Adams call to that the day "be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."
How can people be expected to make patriotic displays when they feel as much if not more loyalty to another nation and view this one as a place to go to find work? Granted, it's not easy for them and they have little other choice, but if they aren't interested in our culture, why would they be interested in our most important political holiday?
Because it's only one of two times a year when they can legally buy and shoot off a small range of firecrackers. But clearly the large number of legal explosions provides perfect cover for the larger, more dangerous, and clearly more lucrative illicit firecracker trade. The police are too busy looking for drunks on the road to chase down even the loudest explosions.
Since it seems the ancient meaning of the day is morphing, maybe we can remember the dying majority that made this country what it is today with a new holiday -- Cracker Day!
As their sacred cows fall one by one: racial purity, publicly mandated Protestant observance, dispute resolution by violence, the sexual exploitation of children, senseless abuse of any weaker creature, and soon marriage for one man and one woman at one time, it looks like they will soon be memory moving to legend and eventually myth. What better symbol to remember all they stand for than the firecracker?
People can continue to march and gather for picnics and fondly remember the good ole days as they purchase firecrackers. The following generations will right the myths they will tell their grandchildren about the people that made this country for them. It's time someone did something to remember all those who made do with so little so that others could have so much that they don't know what to do with it.
Join the cry "Crackers for Crackers" and blow things up. What better way to remember?
posted by xj at 10:16 PM
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