HIV/AIDS and the Younger Generation

Today, while looking at the dishes in the kitchen that needed washing, I thought to myself that it would really be nice to have some help a couple hours a couple times a week. Maybe if I had someone else to help with the dishes, run the vacuum cleaner around a bit, put the clothes in the drier (I expect no one to deal with my dirty clothing), stuff like that it would really be a help.

On one level, it would take off some of the pressure allowing me to maybe get a bit more done. There are things that are very hard for me to do because I need to be on my feet (washing dishes), but I might be able to do other projects that need me to stand. I don't know. I think it would help my spirits if I was not fighting so much with the basics. On another level, I would be able to connect with my community, especially if the volunteers were from the so-called "Younger Generation."

One of the problems often sighted when people try to account for the increase in HIV infection, especially with younger gay men, is that HIV/AIDS are now seen as completely manageable with drugs. Of course clever advertising by the pharmaceutical conglomerates plants that idea -- look at me, I'm HIV positive and because I take this nifty pill, I'm climbing mountains! What they don't tell you is the guy has a cork up his butt to deal with the diarrhea.

This is just and example -- many drugs, many side effects, many people with differing personal levels of tolerance. And while early in the disease process it may be entirely possible to have 'normal' life, most find this changes and deteriorates over time. But this message doesn't seem to be getting through. Instead it's "don't worry, take a pill, and live happily ever after."

I have to wonder if younger gay men, those who care about people and have yet to make too many bad decisions (especially in relation to drugs and sexual risk taking), if they were able to see what living with HIV/AIDS is really like by having more contact with guys like me, maybe they would be fortified to make better decisions and take fewer risks. But I don't have the energy to go to them and lecture and they probably won't listen to that anyway. But we still need to reach them face-to-face, man-to-man.

Beyond that, it occurs to me that when guys get mixed up with Tina (crystal methamphetamine) they finally hit a brick wall or get into trouble with the authorities. Maybe if part of their recovery and community service could be working with real people like themselves who were once making similar decisions (though I don't mean to suggest everyone gets HIV because of drugs) it might make them think about the real, long-term consequences of living the fast life here and now.

Honestly, preaching doesn't work and I think that the reason most guys my age changed our behavior in an effort to avoid the disease was because we watched it take our friends and loved ones. We need to bring that back again if we are going to reach these younger men. I also know this isn't a panacea since it won't work for every guy, but if we can change one mind, if we can give a guy an experience that helps him decide to stay negative, it would be one less to worry about.

I know there are other issues involved in why guys are engaging in risky behavior, but we are going to need to do something meaningful to address these issues. I'm sorry, but the Bush Solution - abstinence is the only way - is not going to register with gay men or much of anyone outside the Evangelical community.

We need to start addressing this as a community, the way we addressed the original epidemic, brother-to-brother with the generous help and support of our lesbian sisters and straight family and friends. And maybe, at the same time, we can help those of us suffering from the continued retraction of benefits and social services.